What Are You Full Of?

“If you want to know what you’re full of, notice what comes out of you when others bump into you.”

Let that one sit for a second...

Whether we’re talking about physical collisions or emotional run-ins, this quote goes deeper than reflexes. It speaks to what’s inside us; not our bones and blood, but our beliefs, habits, and emotional patterns.

We’ve all been bumped. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Jerk! Someone disrupts your tightly packed calendar with an unexpected need. Oblivious! Or they ask how you’re doing and pause to listen. That’s when it happens. The spill. Maybe you snap. Maybe you sigh. Perhaps you smile and say, “I'm fine.” (hate that answer btw) That’s the physical reaction. But what about when someone bumps into your heart? When they ask something real, challenge you, or need more than you feel ready to give?

What spills out then?

Is it calm? Is it defensiveness? Is it that socially armored, “I’m busy,” offered not as a boundary, but as a shield? For me, that one shows up often when I’m not rested. I don’t say it to push people away, but I’ve decided it’s a sign. A sign that I haven’t taken the time to pause and check in with myself. In those moments, I genuinely don’t know what I’m full of.

Here’s what I’ve learned: whatever spills out is usually what’s been brewing inside. If I’ve been carrying stress, anxiety, or resentment, that’s what others get from me. But if I’ve been intentional, practicing gratitude, reflection, and presence, then even when someone jostles me, what comes out might be compassion. Or curiosity. Or grace.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being prepared.

This whole idea reminded me of something I’ve noticed in myself lately. When I haven’t slept well, my emotional regulation goes out the window. Normally, I’m steady and grounded. But after a rough night, it doesn’t take much to knock me off balance. A sentimental song. A heartwarming video. Even a simple, caring “How are you doing, really?” can pull far more emotion out of me than the moment seems to warrant. It’s not that I’m usually suppressing emotions. It’s that when I’m exhausted, the emotional volume is turned way up. What’s typically manageable becomes overwhelming. And in those moments, I get an honest look at what I’m carrying: fatigue, tenderness, maybe a little fragility. It’s humbling. But it’s also incredibly helpful.

Because it reminds me that what I allow in rest, stillness, and connection, shapes what comes out. So here’s the question I’ve been asking myself. Maybe you’ll want to ask it too:

“What came out of me the last time someone bumped into me?”

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about awareness. The bump is never just a disruption. It’s a reflection. And once you see what’s there, you can shape it. You can choose what you want to be full of. You can practice responding instead of reacting. You can use small moments to grow into the kind of leader you truly want to be.

That’s how we develop. One bump at a time.