Gifted is typically defined as 2 standard deviations above the mean (statistically). That's nerd-speak for "way out there" and often times that shows up when you talk to the kids. I'm not talking about the straight-A student who is in band and also the student council president while volunteering at their local community center - that's an achiever...a high performer, for sure, and someone that is of tremendous value. Rather, the gifted tends to be outside of the normative. This kid thinks differently about the world, about problems, approaches to life and challenges, and may even find themselves outside of many friend groups for it. As parents we often just want our kids to be "happy" and associate that with them fitting in. Unfortunately, this isn't a very realistic expectation for us to be setting - with ourselves or for them. Life isn't about being happy and fitting in. It's about growing into the fullness of your abilities and utilizing your gifts. When we link fitting in with happiness like that for our kids, we are putting them into a false dichotomy of either choose to be who you are or choose to fit in. I think it's that very struggle, wrestle with the social challenges, we are looking to shortcut that our kids need to be better capable as they grow up.